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What I Heard, What I Saw

by Kristen Mark Westwood

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  • Every line of lyrics from "What I Heard, What I Saw" plus an introduction to the album. Signed by yours truly (message me if it's a gift and you'd like it signed to someone special)!

    Nominated by GMA Canada for Folk Album of the Year in 2020, "What I Heard, What I Saw" lends flesh and bone, ache and longing to the outcasts, prophets and would-be followers found in the book of Mark. More than that, the album is a confessional: a candid retelling of Kristen’s own journey stumbling through hard questions towards faith, finding meaning in the grit and dust of roads unknown. Collaborating with award-winning producer/guitarist Murray Pulver (The Bros. Landreth, Steve Bell, Red Moon Road), Kristen offers a folk meditation on these challenging narratives, which have informed deep conviction and creativity among the religious and non-religious alike for generations.

    Includes unlimited streaming of What I Heard, What I Saw via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Get the full sonic and visual experience of Kristen's debut album by bundling the CD and Limited Edition Lyric Chapbook (while supplies last).

    Nominated by GMA Canada for Folk Album of the Year in 2020, "What I Heard, What I Saw" lends flesh and bone, ache and longing to the outcasts, prophets and would-be followers found in the book of Mark. More than that, the album is a confessional: a candid retelling of Kristen’s own journey stumbling through hard questions towards faith, finding meaning in the grit and dust of roads unknown. Collaborating with award-winning producer/guitarist Murray Pulver (The Bros. Landreth, Steve Bell, Red Moon Road), Kristen offers a folk meditation on these challenging narratives, which have informed deep conviction and creativity among the religious and non-religious alike for generations.

    Includes unlimited streaming of What I Heard, What I Saw via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $15 CAD or more 

     

1.
The Baptizer 04:36
The Baptizer Are you ready for the sun? Or were you sleeping on your own? I had hoped to be the one to raise these bones Have you heard the stories child? Did you learn to write your own? Would you tell it to your children as they get grown? Here by the river I’ll stand my ground And down in the water I will be found Sure as the Jordan rolls Sure as the Jordan rolls on So you’re ready for new day come For every mountain to come on down And for the fire that’s burning up your sacred town Here by the river I’ll stand my ground And down in the water I will be found Sure as the Jordan rolls Sure as the Jordan rolls on Come let the waters lift up your head All you you lofty ones, be laid low Let the valleys raise a highway headed home 1:1-8
2.
Oh My Beloved Oh I could see It was more than it seemed The light on your face Was it something you heard Coming over the river Calling your name? “Oh my son, oh my beloved Come up to the mountain Carrying your weight The wood and the fire All else is in place And all the world awaits” It was something like kissing The way that it landed The dove on your skin And though it started so tender It seemed to command you away “Oh my son, oh my beloved Come up from the river And go into the wild To places unknown Where enemies will find you Let beasts and angels guide you” I’ve been ready for years By the waves of the river For some kind of change Then I watched you step out From the edge of the water You carried your sandals and you walked like a king Oh please be the one, some of us will see you Come running from the desert To call your people home And bring us back the fire That burns beneath our bones That opens up the seeds to grow For most of my life I’ve lived out on the edges On nothing but honey and sand So take a word of advice From a pilgriming brother Acquainted with wilderness Oh my son, know you’re beloved Come back to the river In all that is ahead The wood and the fire Remember what was said And how the light came down And crowned your upturned head 1.9-12
3.
Rope Burns 04:44
Rope Burns These hands are for rope burns And holding off the sun Setting oars to the ocean Like a fisherman’s son Turned to look for my father This is his father’s boat And his hands are as old As these oars in my hands So why should I swim ashore? And lose all I’ve become? Forget my own name and be anyone’s son? Are you good for it all? Are you good for the journey? Are you good for it all? And did you know about the loneliness? ‘Cause I’m leaving my nets And my father behind Heard them say you’re a holy man But more dangerous than some Well are you sure I’m the one With my fisherman hands? But you smell like the wood-shop floor And the sweat of a priest And you came down to the sea With fresh dust on your feet So what if I come ashore And I take what I’ve become And put it all on the table Would you call me on the question Are you good for it all? Are you good for the journey? Are you good for it all? And did you know about the loneliness? ‘Cause I’m leaving my nets And my father behind This is all that I’ve known Every morning I waken to This same ache in my bones And then you come calling “Come find your way home” And I feel it awaken too This same ache in my bones These hands are for rope burns 1.16-20
4.
The Leper 04:19
The Leper Oh all you that cry out “Unholy, unclean” You untouchable shadows You face of disease All you men breaking bread in the gutters Praying, “Tomorrow we die” All you daughters and mothers, cast aside Oh all you ragged holders-on to life This ends here, where the wretched meet the road This is taking my chances and leaving for home I’m stepping out of the shadows To deal with the light To beg a man to give me back my life Oh all you that drive out The filthy, the weak You that shove to the shadows Every wound you can see All you keepers of hallowed and holy Standing guard of the door Let us in to the glory you hide and hoard The people need a god we can afford This ends now, as we’re staring at the dawn This is highway home, tearing at the walls We’re coming over the thresholds And into the light This is someone given back their life So now I’m where I belong With a name and a home inside these city walls While he’s out in the shadows A man on the road A healer I know What I heard, what I saw That no god, no man Would touch my skin before But he took my bare hand in both of his own Now he’s outside of the city, Tossed to the night It’s like he traded in his rights for mine So if it’s the same old story
That ends well for some Tell me, when’s the revolution gonna come? 1.40-45
5.
Here to Rest 03:36
Here to Rest I lift my eyes to The lines on your face And the dust as it settles In your eyes, in your hair My body’s broken and dirty My hands are tired From begging for money And holding tight to the fire So lower my body down But don’t leave me, my friends You carried your burden Now you can lay it here to rest You call me “brother” Though I feel so ashamed And they hate you for mercy I can feel it in the room But you take my hand in your own hand And your fingers are strong You say, “Stand here, my brother Oh be righteous, belong” This is more than we’ve ever known To believe in, my friends We all carry our burdens Do we just lay them here to rest? Oh look at my body now I needed you, my friends To carry me in here But I’ll be walking home at last 2.1-12
6.
Breaking the Ground I’m here in the garden But I’m not out of the woods And the earth here is hardened By the wounds that she took So go easy on me When you’re breaking the ground When you’re planting the seeds May the roots grow deep down Can you grow in the dirt here The fruit of your labour? Out of the cluttered earth Will you root out the anger? So that I can believe That when you’re breaking the ground You’re just planting the seeds Where the roots grow deep down Are you here in the garden Pulling stones from the dirt? When you dig where it’s darkest Can you feel how it hurts? So go easy on me When you’re breaking the ground When you’re planting the seeds May the roots grow deep down I saw your hands all covered in dirt And there was blood caked under your fingernails But still you dig, though you suffer the worst As you tear at the earth As you expose all the dirt Don’t you give up on me When you’re breaking the ground When you’re planting the seeds May the roots grow deep down 4.1-9
7.
After the Storm Jesus Christ Sleeping in the stern of our boat Did you cut the lines And leave us here to waves and to wars? The people are bleeding Are you still sleeping? Can you hear the sound of guns from down below? Would you stand beside And whisper now the words that you spoke Long before our time That summoned here the oceans we know? But after the storm When you’re done speaking Will you leave us here to row ashore alone? “Are you so afraid? Oh you … Oh are you so afraid? Oh you, you of little faith” I could never have known From where I was, my feet on the shore What the waters show What echoes here from ocean’s roar It’s clearer now But my heart’s still beating You are the not the one I said I knew before Standing on the shore You are not the one I said Not the one I said I knew 4.35-41
8.
We Always Say Nineteen years we knew him Man amongst the caves House him with the dead Lock him up and tuck away Still we never saw it coming How he’d shatter every chain If you can’t manage to contain it Leave it outside of the town We always say We always say First thing in the morning The men had raised the town “We’ve never seen the dogs like this And every stock is drowned” So we got us armed and ready Sure as hell what did we find Well now he’s got up out his cave And now he’s talking like a man Who’s come to life Who’s come to life We got a dead man walking Now he’s out and good and brave What will it cost this town Now that everything has changed? With so much waiting to get out Is anybody safe? We always say Did you get lost or something, Magic-man from Galilee? It’s like you just showed up To shake our darkness by the teeth Oh you know we had it covered We had locks and gates and keys We don’t need your kind to help us Running business in this town No we don’t need Oh we don’t need We got a dead man walking Now he’s out and good and brave What will it cost this town Now that everything has changed? With so much waiting to get out Is anybody safe? We always say With so much waiting to get out Is anybody safe? We always say 5.1-20
9.
Don’t Slow Down Oh don’t you hesitate I came to plead, I came to beg you Don’t slow down ‘Cause I’ve been learning how to pray On hands and knees that bleed and scrape The cold, cold ground I’ve done all I can do To keep her breathing And I left her at the tomb I came for someone to believe in There’s a girl I love In her mother’s arms Will soon be sleeping Oh don’t you turn and face me I’m in the wings, I’m in the shadows Don’t slow down ‘Cause I crawled here through the shame The crooked legs and the quiet anger Of the cold, cold crowd I’ve done all I can do Oh I’ve paid for healing And I’ve nothing left to lose I came for someone to believe in It’s been twelve long years And I’m all alone And I’m still bleeding “Oh talitha koum Only believe Oh talitha koum Only believe Oh talitha koum” Oh don’t you hesitate I came to plead I came to beg you 5.21-43
10.
Bread You’ll Break I was hoping you would say, “Come and rest your weary self Against my heart, upon the ground And we won’t speak or make a sound” We’ve been walking now for days And we rowed across the sea Hungry as the burden beasts With nothing left to eat Oh how we limp upon our need And there’s nothing here for miles around Better look out for your own So take your brother down the city road Buy your bread and spend your gold Would you listen to me now? You can send the crowds away We are poor and we are weary, Lord Let them work and earn their pay Oh I’ve given all I can today This is all that I can carry, Lord Just the bread that’s in my hands Not enough to feed the hungry, there’s A meal for me and my own friends But you can take it from my fingers now And you can break it like a stone And when you raise it up to heaven Speak the words that make it grow Oh give us bread and feed our souls Give us bread and feed our souls Lift the pieces up to heaven And though you whisper, speak aloud The bread you’ll break, the prayers you’ll shout The bread you’ll break The prayers we’ll shout 6.30-44
11.
Even Dogs 04:00
Even Dogs Every time they come around It’s the same damn story “Shutter windows, keep them out
Wait here with the dogs.” So it came as no surprise Your door was never open Couldn't help but wonder why You came to town at all Oh don’t you people see? Even dogs under table Eat the children’s crumbs I’m coming to you needy But I’m standing up taller With my eyes cast down So I’m outside on the ground And you and I are strangers Took the courage I had left And knocked upon your door My people need you now We need a healer So would you just hear me out And be the one I came to call? Oh don’t you see Even dogs under table Eat the children’s crumbs There are thousands out here hungry Will your bread yet be broken For the ones still shuttered out? Cause we’re waiting Oh I’m out here waiting If you would hear me now 7.24-30
12.
This Open Road Not so many days ago Far from home and that was clear We met a man along the road They said he never spoke and couldn’t hear “Oh come closer," you said When you called him out And left us waiting with that unholy crowd And we didn’t hear a sound And it was only yesterday They put a blind man at your feet Before you opened up his eyes You took his hand and walked away from me “Oh look closer,” I heard you say And then again But from the distance, I could barely see your hands And I still don’t understand And now you wanna know the name The people whisper when you’re gone They’re saying soldier, prophet, king They’re singing all the oldest songs “Oh my brother, what do you say?” You wanna know And it’s just you and me now walking on this open road We’re travelling on Well I’ve done all I can to listen To every word I heard you say Got my eyes wide open, looking out For the kingdom and the way "Oh my saviour,” I want to say But does it show That I can barely speak the words for all this aching hope? All this aching hope Oh my brother, what do you say? You wanna know And it’s just you and me now Walking down this open road 7.31-37, 8.22-30

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These songs tell some of the oldest stories I know.

Growing up in church, I heard these stories so many times that I could mouth the words along with the telling. Or if I couldn’t remember the story itself, I could at least tell you what it means; for every story told in Sunday school, there is a lesson to go along with it. And, when it comes to rote spirituality, "knowing what it means” is as good as knowing the story, so I figured I knew these stories. I was wrong.

In grad school, I found myself in a community of students for whom knowing these stories meant something completely different. We were getting to know these stories like we were getting to know each other. We let them provoke us to ask questions, to be curious. We let ourselves wonder the impossible, the heretical, the miraculous and the raw. The stories lived and breathed. They were flesh and bone and ache and longing and we would stay up late into the night, wrestling them off the page with our questions and our doubts, until they birthed something in us that we could believe in. It was as if the stories got underneath us somehow, asking us questions we hadn’t dared ask ourselves, waking us up from flattened faith and easy answers. We began to live, imagine, hope and pray differently for having gotten to know them. That’s how these stories came to life for me, and where these songs were born.

This album is a folk meditation on those ancient stories, a journey through the first half of the Gospel of Mark through the eyes of the characters I find myself next to most often in my own reading. For the curious, I’ve included chapter and verse references for each song so you can find your way to the stories themselves. May they live for you, as they have lived for me. Thank you for listening!

credits

released June 20, 2019

All songs written by Kristen Mark Westwood
Produced by Murray Pulver and Kristen Mark Westwood
Recorded at Signpost Music and Unity Gain Productions, MB
Engineered by Don Benedictson and Murray Pulver
Additional editing by Roman Clarke
Mixed by Don Benedictson at Unity Gain Productions
Mastered by Peter Letros at Wreckhouse Mastering

Design by Roberta Landreth
Photography by Jen Squires

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Kristen Mark Westwood Guelph, Ontario

Kristen Mark Westwood is a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, educator and producer based in Guelph, ON.

Photography by Jen Squires, 2019.

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